Passing the baton
October 27th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I was lounging on the recliner yesterday with my little sister, Alynn who was all decked to the nines waiting for her date to pick her up to watch Lion King at Marina Bay Sands. It suddenly dawned on me that my little sister was no longer little. She’s growing up so fast and we’ve been spending less time together because she’s preoccupied with school and dating. My mum who used to quell any form of dating has also become more open-minded.
When I was Alynn’s age, I was seeing someone for almost 2 years and even though he introduced me to his parents 1 month into the relationship, I could not do the same. Every time he saw me home, I refused to let him see me to my door for fear that my mum would disapprove and break us up. Even when I was bitten by a dog and was limping for a week, I insisted that he stopped his car in the next street. Now, my mum welcomes my sister’s date into our house with open arms. Gifts from my then boyfriends also had to be kept out of sight. Flowers were out of the question unless it was a single stalk that I could hide in my bag. This is a stark contrast to both my sisters’ open display of their presents.
As the oldest of three girls, I’ve always had to pave the way for my sisters and it was hard. (Alynn would argue that she had it the hardest because my parents always expected her to outperform us when it came to grades. I didn’t set the bar too high though.) I was and still am always expected to “set a good example” by living up to my parents’ expectations. Heck, I was such a goody two shoes that the one time I was sent for detention and the school called my parents, I was so scared, I broke down. The offence? I was caught at the mama shop outside school during recess. It seemed like such a big deal at that time but thankfully, my dad thought it was a silly reason to send a student for detention and bailed me out of it.
Because of this constant need to live up to expectations or at least try to, I never confided in family members, least they should think any less of me. Instead, I chose to internalise everything or in rare instances, seek solace in a couple of friends. I was therefore elated when my younger sister, Ashley got married earlier this year. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. For once, I wasn’t the first to venture into unchartered territory. She’d be the one accommodating my parents’ expectations and they’d channel all their dreams of having grandchildren toward her. To top it off, they will also be playing a part in devising the nitty-gritties of her Chinese wedding banquet.
Beyond the festivities and merriment, my mum also felt a sense of loss. The Chinese believe that once a daughter is married off, she no longer belongs to her own family. In fact, my mum was mournful when my sister called home from Australia to announce that she was getting married. My mum didn’t even break the news to me until a day later when she found the news too hard to bear. I had to console my mum and told her to think of it as gaining a son instead. I am so glad that Ashley did the whole marriage thing before me. I would have crumbled under all that pressure my parents are giving her. Also, since Ashley is doing the wedding banquet according to my parents and her in-laws’ specifications, it is safe to say that I will be able to get away with whatever I want when my time comes.
As I saw Alynn walk out the gate and into her date’s car, I couldn’t help but wonder what possibilities she’d open for me. For once, even if for a fleeting moment, I can just lie back and watch things unfold.
The chaos that was Kathmandu or why I hated my guide
October 26th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
It was my first day in Nepal and already, I was less than impressed with my guide, Kumar. When I arrived in Kathmandu, Kumar asked for my passport to process my trekking permit. He assured me that Kathmandu was safe and I could explore it while I waited for him to return with the documents. I was still recovering from culture shock after a soldier at the airport pointed his rifle at me in an attempt to tell me that waiting in the airport was not allowed. Kumar wasn’t holding up a sign with my name like he was supposed to and the noise and chaos that greeted me diluted my patience.
Kumar smiled sheepishly when he finally arrived. We got on board a taxi and before we left, two of the taxi driver’s cronies demanded I tip them. Kumar did nothing to stop them and I sat in the taxi, adamant that a tip should only be given upon arrival at the destination. The two men mumbled something in Hindi to Kumar and he told me to tip them otherwise we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. Disgruntled, I gave them US$2 each to chase them away.
The trip to Thamel wasn’t as smooth as I would have liked. The taxi sped along narrow alleyways and the seatbelts were faulty. At some point, I was sure I would have died in the taxi. It almost seemed like there were no traffic rules in this place. Cows, dogs, chickens, cars, motorcycles, bicycles, and pedestrians shared the same road. The taxi nearly ran over a stray dog and later, into a cow. If the taxi driver’s reflexes reacted any slower, I would have flown out the windscreen.
I was only too relieved to arrive at Thamel unscathed. Kumar disappeared to get my trekking permit in order and I had my Dora the Explorer moment. Arriving from squeaky clean Singapore where littering warrants a fine, Kathmandu is the anti-thesis of my garden city homeland. I barely walked half a mile when dirt and grime accumulated on the exposed surfaces of my body. I cringed. At that instant, I realised that I belonged to the breed of spoiled, soft, city folk. The locals knew I was not one of them and tried to coax me into their souvenir shops while others pedalled their food, tour packages and transportation services to me. At first I was polite, fending them off with a smile and, “No, thanks” but soon I gave up because my reply only encouraged them to be more persistent. Apart from that, I received marriage proposals, albeit in jest or so I hope. To the tanned-skinned locals, marrying someone of Chinese, Japanese and Korean descent was the ideal. Many assumed that I was Japanese and kept greeting me “Ohaiyo” even in the evening. I did not bother to correct anyone and just continued on my way.
Later that day, I returned to my hotel only to find that Kumar was not there waiting for me like he promised and he had turned off his phone. I waited another hour for him, frantically getting the hotel receptionist to call him for me. The rooms were bare and the only phone in any hotel or backpackers in Nepal was the one at the front desk. I felt like a criminal waiting for the jury to decide on a verdict. After 2 hours of what seemed like a journey to hell and back, someone delivered my passport to the hotel with a message to meet Kumar at 6.30am the following day. I was so relieved to receive my passport that all my anxiety dissipated. Had Kumar decide to take off with my passport, I would have had to find a way to cross the Nepal-Indian border to get to the Singapore Embassy. The Singapore Embassy in Nepal is located in New Delhi and not in Nepal.
That night, I could not get to sleep. Thankfully, there was cable and I stayed up watching BBC news and AXN in a desperate attempt to regain some normalcy in my life.
Vote Wisely
August 27th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
“This is in the attitude of mind of the populace, that they have to have an answer and that a man who gives an answer is better than a man who gives no answer, when the real fact of the matter is, in most cases, it is the other way around. And the result of this of course is that the politician must give an answer. And the result of this is that political promises can never be kept. It is a mechanical fact; it is impossible. The result of that is that nobody believes campaign promises. And the result of that is a general disparaging of politics, a general lack of respect for the people who are trying to solve problems, and so forth. It’s all generated from the very beginning (maybe – this is a simple analysis). It’s all generated, maybe, by the fact that the attitude of the populace is to try to find the answer instead of trying to find a man who has a way of getting at the answer.”
- Richard P. Feynman
Legacy
August 25th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Apple products aside, Steve Jobs will continue to be an inspiration.
Running for my life
June 28th, 2011 § 1 Comment
“What’s your fastest time,” is one of the most dreadful questions you can ask a runner wannabe. Hang on, I’m not even a runner wannabe. I do it because it’s fun. Sure I may whine and curse every time I participate in a run but at the end of it, I never ever regret.
Running is probably the cheapest form of therapy and anyone can do it. Just put your right/left foot before the other and repeat at a fast pace. It never fails to pick me up whenever I feel like the lowest life form on the planet or when I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Citizens of cubicle nation, let’s go for a run! Side effects may include weight loss, radiant skin, improved blood circulation and blisters.
